Finland, September 1994:

1. Different dreams. Strong dreams. Drove into back of other car the following morning. Poor concentration. No accident for 20 year. Sex dreams. Old friend who was younger in the dream. He wanted her and she said you are just a young boy, not even a man. Then in house of friends and interrupted all he time and never found a place to have sex. She wanted sex, but could not find a bed. Good feeling that a young man was so interested in her. Other dreams: Garage, waiting. The whole dream waiting for something. A test how am I going to pass this homeopathy exam. Another dream. Just watching and waiting for something. Somebody. a Man. Second night Terrible headache. Like a nail in the vertex which moved in a circle. Unusual headache for her. Nausea with headache. Really depressed after the accident, then came the headache. Anxious in stomach and mind. The feeling in the stomach totally out of proportion to precipitating event.

2. Waiting for exam. Dark. Winter. The room was dark just through a little door could see a lighted room where the exam would take place. Anxiety, how to survive, stay alive, a question of life and death. Every body in exam room in black. dressed very formal, Atmosphere very strict. She dressed casual. Very anxious about this. Jogging outfit. If did not pass exam would be treated very badly. Was very scared. Chest pain with expiration agg. lying on abdomen. Stitching pain. Better standing quiet. Lasted 4 hours. Very exhausted the day after remedy. All energy gone. Totally drained and heavy in body.

3. Back in school. Gymnastics lesson. Run from one side to the other. Wearing the wrong shoes. Party shoes. Black with gold. I am wearing the wrong shoes. How can I run? I cannot do a well as everyone else. Felt bad about not looking right, Not dressing right for the gym. It was a test situation, not just running for fun but to see how fast they could run. Left side of body heavy. Even when asleep could sense the left side of the body. Prickling sensation left arm and hand, then down left leg, then to right toe, then up the right side of body. Unable to lie on left side as felt heart beating. Pounding.

4. Remedy under the pillow. Brain felt strange, like a zig-zag in the brain before sleep. Everything had the shape of triangles or diamonds, even the doorways. How can I get through this door which has this strange shape. Fighting with father in dream. Argument. Refused to do something he thought idiotic. Long argument. I will not do it. Father was asking him to do this senseless thing. Next morning very tired. Anxiety in dreams. Anxiety in chest, in heart.

5. Rocking motion. As if rocking before sleep. A little out of body. Whole left side of body heavy. Dream about the night. Standing waiting outside hospital. Then came a politician who is well known in Finland. A maverick, a strange philosopher psychologist type who set off fireworks because a child had been born in the hospital. Then in hospital. All people waiting, she ran past into her room. 2 pregnant woman lying down intertwined. The one on the left very feminine complaining all the time about the pain and discomfort, the one on the right more masculine saying oh be tough, it will be all right. A lot of left sided emphasis. Hospital on the left, ran up left side of stairs. Although fireworks no child actually born. Another dream about a big catastrophe. A room, all the furniture on the left side. Whole room shaking like an earthquake. Great fear as the furniture flying around. dark in the room but through the window could see light outside. The biggest fear was that he whole house was sinking into the earth. Looked out of the window and everything was normal. The panic was in the chest. This cannot be happening. Another dream. In a house. A small side window like they have in Finland to let a little air in was open. So many birds came in they took over the house. They began to attack her. She went into bed and pulled covers over her. All birds came through a small window. After the birds left people carried water out of the house which had come in.

6. Many fragmented dreams. Swimming and ice in the river. Dangerous as the water is so cold one rapidly freezes to death. A dangerous situation. A ship had sunk. She was in a small rowboat. Maybe a flood situation. Then skiing downhill a great speed. Then passed Paul McCartney hanging on a cross and his left hand was like a chicken claw. Frequent waking with anxiety.

7. With a friend in a small boat with large outboard motor, the boat begins to sink and he is very afraid. Saved by going to an island. Great anxiety in dream. Anxiety all night. Hardly able to sleep. A few days later so much better, wife has never seen him so calm. Usually a nervous wreck.

8. Alone on a small island. Pleasant.

9. Walk in forest with son and daughter. Sea on left and forest on right. Son disappeared. Then went home and found son who was covered with a thick cloth. Great anxiety about son being lost. Another dream. Asked is it frightening to study in St. Petersburg. Another; going to bus stop. Told not to go as very dangerous man there. She was in a hurry and said what the hell. I am in a hurry to go home. He was trying to catch her and she had to run from this dark fat man. Main anxiety was about wasting time. Another dream about gymnastics class. Crowded subway. School at Kairon and one man said to another why did you not believe she is a Lac caninum. Get a cat to make feeling softer and more pleasant.

10. No remedy. Dream bright colors. Water and dessert. Seen from plane. Then flashy dress yellow and red. Like a sari. Men dressed in dark suits. Kidnapped. Taken to a dark egg shaped car. Everything in dream dark. Child inside car although not so afraid.