Case of K. A., DOB 10 Mar. 48, female

14 May 92: The impression that this patient gives is of a yuppie who exercises a lot and takes meticulous care of her appearance, and who will do anything to avoid getting old. She drives a stylish BMW with a license plate customized with her name. There is something quintessential Carcinosin about her; perhaps it is the muted fire in her eyes, peering out from behind a veil of pain and disappointment. In any case, I knew the remedy without asking, and thought of asking only enough questions to get a confirmation of my intuition and provide a basis for follow-ups. But this is, after all, a cancer case. It turned out that this decision was not mine to make. As soon as I asked her: "What is the matter?", then everything flowed out. I should mention something about how I came to this case that says a lot about the patient and the remedy. She owns a health-food store in a small town that I visit periodically to see patients. Several of my patients had spoken of me to her, and vice-versa. I would hear, through the grapevine, that she had intended to see me this month but couldn't for this reason, and next month for another reason. Acting upon the pleas of my friends and patients, I decided to help matters along. I went into the store, ostensibly to buy a rice-dream bar, and let it slip who I was. She immediately poured out her life story to me, and told me that she was determined to avoid orthodox medical treatment, and intended to come and see me, and that she would work it out with her schedule, and it might not be this month but perhaps next month. I explained to her that this was a disease that would terminate in only one possible way unless we did something about it, and quickly. By the time I had walked the few blocks to my office, she had called, wanting to see me that day. Carcinosin is very much into keeping death away by planning and activity. This strategy had begun to fail for her, but she could not accept mortality, the ultimate imperfection. Therefore, she simply hid her head in the sand.

Chief complaint breast cancer. Six months ago she had lost a lot of weight, discovered a hard, mobile, painless, nut-like lump in her left breast. Diagnosis from biopsy was malignant breast tumor. Since the biopsy heaviness (1), pulling (1) deep in breast and aching in left axilla (1). Migraines (3) with blindness (3) and vomiting (3) since age 16, when she was married; every three months, used to be every six weeks. Aborts them with Cafergot which makes her high (3) and cold (2). Depression (3) off and on all her life. Has attempted suicide several times in last few years. Manic (2) all along. Low energy (2). Always felt she would die young (2). Drinks too much alcohol (2), 2-3 drinks a day.

I recount her personal history in great detail here because it is a clear pointer in the direction of this remedy, and includes many elements to be found in the typical Carcinosin history. "I was raised by a Nazi woman. She was a perfectionist (23), who would only give you one chance to Fuqua up." When she did, her mother would grab her by the hair and pull her down the stairs. As a result, "I spent all my life trying to be perfect (3)." Adored (3) and feared (3) her mother. Her father was a soft-spoken "good ol' boy," whom the mother left when K.A. was 13 years old. At 11 she was raped by a relative. Upon hearing of it, her mother pushed her down the stairs saying, "There is two kinds of dirt, one you can get clean from, and one you can't." She became reclusive from this point on, spending time by herself and with her horse, and became, during teenage years, a "prick-teaser." She slept with a boy at 14 and married him at 16, a man "like Jimmy Swaggart." One day he would be a religious fanatic, the next his fanaticism was for pornography. Nevertheless, she dedicated herself to being the perfect mother. She became strict and narrow as befitted the wife of a fundamentalist Christian. When she found out that he had been unfaithful, she left him.

Sex was a duty with this man; there were no emotions or feeling. She married him because he was the first boy she had slept with, and therefore she felt that he owned her. He yelled constantly and controlled her thereby. He could not stand to hear people eat or breathe, therefore she would feed the children before he got home so that he would not have to hear them eat. As soon as she left her husband, she "went to town," was a "16 year-old in a 34 year-old body." She had a couple of major relationships and many one-night stands. She had a hysterectomy at this point and several abortions, she didn't really know about birth control. She also had some questionable Pap smears, was told to "take it out," and did so unquestioningly. She had what appeared to have been peritonitis, with high fever (3), vomiting bile. More surgery, collapsed intestines. She failed to respond to any treatment. Finally, her M.D. said, "You are dying and I don't know why." She woke up, realized the gravity of the situation, checked herself out of the hospital, and promptly recovered. After this she became the "kept woman" of a powerful and dominant attorney, who later was killed in a terrible car accident. She had a five-year relationship, just ending, with an alcoholic/workaholic. A small, Napoleonic, dominant man who would often try to get her to have sexual intercourse with his friends, and who would boast to her about his lovers. He would never touch her. "Sex" consisted of fellatio while he sat in a chair and smoked. She has slept with perhaps 50 men in her life but cannot reach orgasm (2), except by masturbation. The one exception was a young artist who whimpered and cried during sex but was very attentive to her, and with whom she lived for a while. He left her because he wanted children and a younger woman.

At a certain point she found herself in a prostitution situation. She had a friend who had a large rain forest project. K.A. agreed to sleep with the rich man who would, in exchange, be easily persuaded to make a large donation to her friend's cause. It turned out to be more than she bargained for. He was impotent and had an implant. In lieu of his own performance he tried to get her to have sex with his dog. He urinated on her and attempted to beat her up. It was shortly after this when she discovered the cancer. Always had trouble with relationships (2). Doesn't trust men (3), afraid of them (3). "Says no to nobody, for anything" (3). Never refused a man sexually in her life (3) until a year and a half ago, when she had a migraine, was going blind and vomited. He then raped her. She felt this was the story of her life. She did not report the rape; she did not want her son to know. She became depressed, tried suicide twice, was treated with Prozac, Wellbutrin, Chlorophen. She remains on them, though on reduced dosage. Has tried to get off them, unsuccessfully. She began smoking at this point. Hates herself for it, is contrary to every thing she believes in. Also began to gain weight at this point. Looking at her I didn't take this latter too seriously. She had been a foster mother for abused children for twenty years. The rape brought her own abuse into consciousness. "Part of me feels that I will die, commit suicide" (3). Breaks down in tears at this point and at many others.

Bloating digestion (3), frequent urination (2), fastidious (2), for disorder. When depressed goes off by herself (2) to cry. Consolation leads to shame (2); she does not want to be a problem. Loves the sun (2), water (2). Fear of heights (1). Takes herbs and supplements too numerous to mention. Loves to dance (2). As a child she slept well but sweated in bed (2). Had delusions of head expanding, body shrinking or vice versa. At these times vertigo (2), worse rising from seat (2).Desires coffee (3), which gives her a high followed by a manic state. Chocolate (3). Had never eaten salt, now craves sesame salt (3), butter (3), onions (1), garlic (2), milk (3) which makes her worse. Tends to sore throat (1). Aversions to eggs (2) except on croissants, fruit (2), usually salt (2). Family history on mother's side: MGF violent, abusive, unbalanced; his father was clinically insane. MGM: "sexually promiscuous," "the town whore," married ten times. Father's side: F: healthy; MGM: has been hospitalized long-term for nervous breakdown; MGF: 93, healthy.

Assessment: To me there was no question. The only other possibility was Staphisagria, and I would undoubtedly have used it if I didn't know Carcinosin. I would have assumed that the symptoms not covered by this remedy were representative of another layer. However, the food cravings are here in spades, she is fastidious, there are digestive difficulties, and there is cancer, although there is not much in the ancestral history. She also has migraines and had a preference for animals (her horse), as a youngster - a symptom which other writers have mentioned. As importantly, she had the unmistakable essence of this remedy written all over her.
Plan: Carcinosin 200C, daily, until aggravation, then gradually discontinue allopathic medications, 14 May 92. Get her to wean herself off cigarettes and alcohol.

19 May 92: K.A. called, crying (3), hysterical (3): "Everything I ever did bad is coming back." (3) Nausea (3), chills (3), fever (3). Memories of past traumas (2), including feelings about abuse. Pain in the breast (3) as if it would explode. Took a couple of all medications today, had been off a couple of days. Migraine (3).
Assessment: Good reaction! Aggravation.
Plan: Continue remedy for a while until I am sure she is totally off all medications.

23 May 92: (phone) "Migraine calmed down yesterday. I feel great (2), better than I have felt in a long time."
Assessment: Short, quick aggravation followed by a rapid rebound. It appears we have a curable case here.
Plan: Discontinue homeopathic remedy.

16 June 92: She thinks she antidoted with coffee; she now has dark circles under her eyes. I cannot say that they weren't there before. Before the remedy she had been utterly depressed, confused, now she is grounded, still clear, although tired (2) and emotionally exhausted (2) from having to deal with people in her store who always inquire after her health and give her advice. But emotionally clear! Eating lots of chocolate (2), put on 10 pounds (she can stand to put on some more). No headaches until a couple of days ago. Then she had two drinks and became sick (3) as during the aggravation. This has passed, though. Slept better. Personal life is better. She is in a positive relationship now, both are committed, allowing herself to be open and vulnerable and loved for the first time in her life. Breast sore (1) first left, then right. Bloated (!). Fungus in toenails, cracks between toes. Episodes of coldness (1), was cold (2) with the headache after drinking. More grounded now, can say "No!" but feels fragile in this equilibrium. Urinates less, but no longer consumes alcohol and coffee. After coffee she became despondent with circles under her eyes and fullness in breasts. She had been riding her bicycle again, now she can't.
Assessment: She had been drinking coffee every other day since she stopped taking the remedy. There is no evidence of antidoting, but we shall see. Perhaps there will be some effect from the alcohol.
Plan: Wait.

21 July 92: Running every day, working, but one day feels energetic, playful, then used up by the end of the day, "on reserve." Wishes she were beyond the point of constant focus on the possibility of relapse. "My body is falling apart." What she means by that is that her hair is dry (2), fingernails peeling (2). "No muscle tone." Brown liver spots all over, especially on legs. Started taking Mesostrate supplements. Thinks she feels better. Has had a few headaches, no migraines. Pulling sensation in area where lump had been biopsied. Has had some coffee over the last month. Not depressed but "used up" (1), tired (1). Relationship is healthy; only healthy one she has ever had. She describes the recovery from her fever during the aggravation: all men in her life - lovers and sons - were there; she felt healed of so much fear of men. "I always figured things out and performed, so that I would not have to deal with the fear." "There has been a softening of the crust of pain in my life." "A lot more secure in who I am. I can say 'no'." Spends a lot less time evaluating when the next crisis will be and how to avoid it. Enjoys sex; good, six times per week. Urination normal. Bloating (1) off and on. Not eating so much chocolate. Still worse for consolation (2).Recently her son remarked that the smell of DMSO was coming out of her pores. He noticed it because he had hated the smell when she used it in the past. Also noticed other odors, perhaps from other drugs. At times she is tired (2). Very up last week, tired this week.
Assessment: Doing well in spite of coffee. I gave her a stern rap about coffee, asked her if she liked it enough to die for it.
Plan: Return to clinic in 1 month.

This article originally appeared in Simillimum, Fall 1992, Volume 5, Number 3, p. 19ff. It is reprinted here with permission of the Editor of Simillimum.